Dating and romance scams try to lower your defenses by appealing to your romantic or feeling side. They play on emotional or societal triggers to get a response.

Some of these scams work by setting up a dating website where you pay for each email or message you send and receive. The scammer will create false profiles and send a whole series of vague-sounding emails filled with gushing talk of love or desire. The scammer might also send emails filled with details of their home country or town that do not refer to you much at all. These are all attempts to keep you writing back and paying money for use of the scammer’s dating website.

The scammer might start off by building a rapport with you, perhaps even sending you flowers or other small gifts. After building up a ‘relationship’, the scammer will tell you about a large amount of money they need to transfer out of their country or that they want to share with you. They will then ask for your banking details or money for an administrative fee or tax that they claim needs to be paid to free up the money. This is a variation on the Nigerian 419 scam.

An alternative scam is that after building a relationship with you, the scammer will claim to have fallen ill or been involved in a serious accident. They will then ask you for money to pay medical bills or travel expenses to visit you. In some instances you may even be contacted by someone claiming to be their doctor and asking for money for medical expenses.

Regardless of how you are scammed, you could end up losing a lot of money.

Warning signs

• You are addressed by the wrong name or the email is not personally addressed at all.
• You receive a photograph of a potential date and the photo doesn't match up (e.g. the photograph looks like it is from a magazine or the description the person has given of themselves doesn't match the photo).
• Your potential date tells you that they love or desire you after only a few letters or emails.
• The email is poorly written, vague or repeats itself.
• You are asked for your bank account details or for gifts or money.
• The emails become more desperate, persistent or direct if you do not send money straightaway.

Protect yourself from dating and romance scams

• ALWAYS consider the possibility that the approach may be a scam, particularly if the warning signs listed above appear. Try to remove the emotion from the situation and think before you act.
• Talk to an independent friend, relative or fair trading agency before you send any money. NEVER send money, or give credit card or online account details to anyone you do not know and trust.
• Do not open suspicious or unsolicited emails (spam): delete them.
• NEVER reply to a spam email (even to unsubscribe).
• Make sure you know how to stop any subscription service you want to sign up to.
• Check the website address carefully. scammer often set up fake websites with very similar addresses.
• NEVER send your personal, credit card or online account details through an email.
• Money laundering is a criminal offence: do not agree to transfer money for someone else.
• If in doubt, talk to someone like a trusted friend, family member or your local fair trading agency for their opinion.

Conclusion

If someone you have met over the internet or through an advertisement asks for gifts, money or your bank account details: do NOT respond. Never send any money, credit card details or any other personal details to these people—they could be scammer.